The First Film Proposal
What the walls say about our city...
Feedback
Outcomes are that the film isn't explicit enough about the subject, the film needs two different filming approaches which reflect and expose there differences, the slick clean modern buildings to filmed us a tripod and a clear definition camera and the "rough" existing skins to be filmed slightly more rugged to display the contrast in materials.
Personal feedback
The next stage is to reduce the image overlays and define the points using different filming techniques and using voice overs to express the points further, reduce text length down to single line titles/ points which explain the fourth coming sequence explicitly and let the video tell the story as opposed to the paragraphs telling the story and the video a background image 
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